


BZZ BZZ MOTHERFUCKER

by VOICESS



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Dense Boys, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Poor Lee Taeyong, Poor Mark, Slow Burn, They're still idols, a lil bit of angst, everyone has problems, full of shower thoughts, i'm sorry if you don't like the ships i put in but i'm trying my best okay, jeno is the light of our lives, mostly arguing to be honest, nct chatfic, poly ships because we are inclusive, sm is trash wbk, surprisingly planned out, taeil is very sweet, there will be a story i promise, welp ok then
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:34:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23599942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VOICESS/pseuds/VOICESS
Summary: there's a lot more that goes on in the dorms and minds of nct than we think. the chat logs are certainly a testament to the roller coaster of emotions that they go through, taeil thinks. hopefully he can help everyone reach their happy endings, because he sure as hell won't.(just another nct chatfic with infinite chapters just like the member count, featuring dojaetae and many other ships.)
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Nakamoto Yuta, Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong, Kim Jungwoo/Wong Yuk Hei | Lucas, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Liu Yang Yang/Wong Kun Hang | Hendery, Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le, Qian Kun/Xiao De Jun | Xiao Jun
Comments: 18
Kudos: 75





	1. save mark('s bladder)

**Author's Note:**

> usernames
> 
> tyty: Taeyong  
> moony: Taeil  
> grease: Johnny  
> motomoto: Yuta  
> bunbun: Doyoung  
> peachy: Jaehyun  
> uwu: Winwin  
> potato: Jungwoo  
> het: Mark  
> snork: Renjun  
> jenowo: Jeno  
> h(yuck): Hyuck  
> marshmallow: Jaemin  
> scREE: Chenle  
> gremlin: Jisung  
> gege: Kun  
> a mess: Lucas  
> tnt: Ten  
> sheep: Xiaojun  
> donk-e: Hendery  
> vroom vroom: Yangyang

prepare to dying 

**_[tyty and 18 others are now online]_ **

**tyty**

Why is this still the chat name?

**grease**

that’s a good question.

**het**

i am sorely offended as an english speaking homosapien

**marshmallow**

i’m sorry wot

**het**

dw that cost my only brain cell to say

**h(yuck)**

lmao burnnnnn

**het**

stop hyuck

**h(yuck)**

uwu never

you gave me this nickname

this is payback

**motomoto**

=͟͟͞͞( ω )=͟͟͞͞ 

CHENGIEEEEEE

YOU’RE ONLINE

I SEE YOU

**uwu**

no

**motomoto**

HI  (´∇｀)

**uwu**

stop

**motomoto**

╥﹏╥ but why

**uwu**

it’s too early in the afternoon for this

**moony**

it’s 3pm??

**uwu**

your point?

**peachy**

what even pls

**grease**

jaehyun, my man!

**peachy**

eyo john suh

**tnt**

gae

**het**

it’s just guys being bros, ten

**tnt**

like you’d know what’s platonic or not

**scREE**

he ain’t lying

**tyty**

Chenle!!!!

**scREE**

hi hyung!

**moony**

this is the wholesome content i signed up for

**vroom vroom**

how many oranges do you think i can fit in my mouth

**moony**

and never mind it disappeared 

**bunbun**

period

i still hate this nickname

@tyty

change it back bitch

**tyty**

I have suddenly lost ability to read.

**gege**

yangyang don’t

**vroom vroom**

I DO WHAT I WANT KUN-GE

**donk-e**

confirmed

**sheep**

i’m trying to control them but it i s n ‘ t w o r k i n g

**gege**

sigh

at least dejun understands

**sheep**

yep

**tyty**

Just stressed leader things...

**het**

hah 

i don’t have to do that anymore

hah

**h(yuck)**

hah

you’re still stuck with us bitch

hah

**gremlin**

gasp

i see a swear word

HYUNGS

**moony**

@h(yuck) warning 1

**h(yuck)**

owo what’s this

**motomoto**

the hyung line actually being responsible?

**peachy**

tea

**moony**

ok stop

**_[potato is now online]_ **

**potato**

it’s okay taeil-hyung!! i love you hehe

**uwu**

uwu

**a mess**

JUNGWOO BB

**potato**

baby!!!!

**a mess**

hello :)

**bunbun**

imagine actually being wholesome

**moony**

you could never doyoung

**bunbun**

OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT

**peachy**

no, we don’t know what

**tyty**

@h(yuck) We have a strike system now

Every time a dreamie curses, they get a strike

When you reach 10 you have to buy all of us snacks!

**h(yuck)**

whose godforsaken idea was this

**_[snork is now online]_ **

**snork**

revolt against the hierarchy

topple the system

**marshmallow**

renjun no

**uwu**

smol moomin being 

i told you to stop reading those books

they’re messing with your head

**snork**

i refuse

they stimulate my otherwise dead neurons

at least they’re interesting 

unlike you guys

**grease**

wow

felt that

**_[jenowo is now online]_ **

**marshmallow**

junnie come back we still have three more episodes 

**jenowo**

please? :c

**snork**

smh fine

only because jeno said please

**marshmallow**

what about me? ;(

**snork**

i plead the fifth

**marshmallow**

wow

**jenowo**

thank youuuu :D

jaemin’s just being salty junnie

i promise he wants to watch with u

come on pleaseeeeee

**snork**

ikik i’ll be there in 4

**_[snork is now offline]_ **

**_[jenowo is now offline]_ **

**marshmallow**

the audacity 

humph

**_[marshmallow is now offline]_ **

**bunbun**

the power my favorite dongsaeng holds 

**peachy**

truly

**h(yuck)**

this rule is still unfair tho

@tyty why don’t hyungs get punishments too

**tyty**

Taeil, explain?

**moony**

it’s cuz we’re already buying you guys stuff anyways so there’s no need for us to pay extra

also because we kind of care about you and yeah

**scREE**

wow really

**moony**

where do you think your steam accounts come from

**het**

oops

**grease**

mark what'd you do this time

**het**

HYUCK LET ME IN

**h(yuck)**

lmao suffer

**het**

he locked me out of our bathroom

help johnny

i need to pee

like right now

**grease**

TMI but all right

@h(yuck) i still have blackmail on you

open the door or else

**motomoto**

what’s this? 

i spy some tea

╰(✧∇✧╰)

**peachy**

johnny what? 

is this about operation polka dot?

**grease**

perhaps

**peachy**

ah

:)

**h(yuck)**

OK HYUNGS I GET THE POINT

FINE COME IN MARK

**het**

hasLDFKJsdlfkjsdf

**potato**

is markie ok?

**grease**

when has he ever been ok

**bunbun**

true

**moony**

i truly worry for you all

**tyty**

Likewise

**gremlin**

@scREE i got to the level

help me now

**scREE**

omw

**bunbun**

why is china line so silent it’s scary

**tnt**

knowing them they’re probably busy trying to save yangyang from himself

**bunbun**

aren’t you part of wayv too ten

**tnt**

yeah but i’m special

the thai blood does wonders💪

**peachy**

that made no sense but ok

**het**

my bladder is praising the lord suh youngho

**tyty**

Mark, for the love of God, stop talking right now

**het**

slow down

grab your bible

pray like you tryna make your soul revival

praise the lord

**peachy**

amen

**moony**

i regret everything

why did i sign with SM

why am i here just to suffer

**tyty**

Pat pat taeil hyung!

**moony**

finally someone who cares

**motomoto**

mark trying to be a hip christian will never cease to make me laugh

**het**

wdym i am hip

**h(yuck)**

the sounds you make on the toilet certainly aren’t

**uwu**

…

going to bleach my eyes now

**bunbun**

^

**tyty**

^

**grease**

^

**peachy**

^

**moony**

^

**potato**

^

**het**

OH COME ON HYUCK

**_[h(yuck) is now offline]_ **

**het**

bitch

**moony**

strike one mark

**het**

fuck

**moony**

strike two

**grease**

LMAO you keep going mark

**het**

:^(

the bullying occuring here makes me sad

i’m being othered

this is a human rights violation

**tyty**

And all i wanted was to know what to change the chat name to...


	2. 3am revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> USERNAMES if you forgot (i'll only include the ones used in this chap)
> 
> moony: Taeil  
> grease: Johnny  
> peachy: Jaehyun  
> het: Mark  
> h(yuck): Donghyuck
> 
> \---
> 
> warning: slight homophobia, dense boys, and swearing ahead!

prepare to dying

**_[h(yuck) is now online]_ **

**h(yuck)**

whomst is up

**_[peachy is now online]_ **

**peachy**

omf hyuck literally why

**h(yuck)**

oop jaehyun hyung

**_[het is now online]_ **

**het**

jslkdfjsdf it’s early 

**h(yuck)**

3am is prime gaming time wyd

jHONYNNYNYYY

**_[grease is now online]_ **

**grease**

i’m literally sitting next to you 

**h(yuck)**

lol ik 

**_[moony is now online]_ **

**moony**

screenagers *sigh*

**h(yuck)**

johnny is literally 25

**moony**

your point?

**grease**

fair

**het**

hyuck literally stop and go to sleep

**h(yuck)**

you’re not my dad

**moony**

i’ll summon taeyong

**h(yuck)**

do it no balls

**peachy**

are we just going to ignore the fact that johnny is like right next to donghyuck yet they both don’t speak to each other and are just texting on their phones

**grease**

wow jaehyun 

greasy

**moony**

that doesn’t even wORK

**h(yuck)**

if we’re going on that tangent

taeil hyung is also just texting us when he could just walk thru the door and initiate human interaction

hypocrite

**moony**

ok y’know what

i didn’t want to wake up yuta

look he’s just

calm

for once in his life

i didn’t want to ruin that

**grease**

that was surprisingly soft

**het**

i didn’t know taeil hyung could be soft

**moony**

IT’S 3AM ALL RIGHT

I CAN BE OUT OF CHARACTER IF I’D LIKE

**h(yuck)**

fair

anyway

johnny

come and play overwatch w me

**grease**

why

**peachy**

aw come on man

just let hyuck have some fun

**grease**

some fun = WE DO THIS ALMOST EVERY NIGHT

**het**

wow

harsh

**grease**

i know

sometimes, believe it or not, i want to sleep

**het**

you hear that

@h(yuck)

sleep

**h(yuck)**

stop >:/

don’t lecture me

**het**

but you need to sleep hyuckie

**h(yuck)**

no

let me ruin myself

**het**

i can’t

i care about you

**grease**

…

tea

**moony**

ohmygodjohnnyjustshutupforonesecond

**h(yuck)**

the moment was ruined wbk

✌👊👋👌

**het**

hah

if anyone asks

nothing happened

aight

**peachy**

…

mark.

  
  


private message between @peachy and @het

**peachy**

you know, you need to stop running away.

**het**

hyung stop

i’ll get over it okay

i’m working on it

**peachy**

no you’re not

i can tell from the furtive glances you keep sending him at practice

don’t think you’re being secretive, you aren’t succeeding

it’s not going to work mark

**het**

yes it will

just you wait

mark your words

pun not intended

hahah

**peachy**

minhyung.

**het**

hyung, i’m serious, don’t worry about it

**peachy**

i’m never going to stop, you know that, right?

as long as you keep avoiding your problems, i’m not getting off your case.

**het**

i’m not running away! i just don’t want to talk to him!

**peachy**

about the summer fight? it’s been years, mark.

you at least owe him an explanation for why you dragged it out like that.

**het**

i don’t owe him anything! 

you see those emojis he sent?

he doesn’t give a fuck, hyung.

how do i even begin explaining something to a person who won’t give me any of his time?

**peachy**

mark, you sound really fucking conceited right now.

get off your throne, i’m telling you. 

if you can’t see how donghyuck literally latches onto your every word, you’re actually the world’s largest dumbass. 

you know what, if we’re giving each other a piece of our minds, your nickname doesn’t do it either.

mark, don’t pretend that you haven’t come to me in a drunken stupor and confessed you like guys. 

**het**

jaehyun, please

**peachy**

no, i’m not going to stop.

you’ve been stressed out of your mind with comebacks, i get that. 

but you need to man the hell up and confront everything that’s bugging you.

**het**

you know what, no

i’m going to bed, good night.

**peachy**

mark

**_[het is now offline]_ **

**peachy**

MARK.

oh my god

fine, be that way.

  
  


prepare to dying

**h(yuck)**

ok but srsly guys

i would want to be a snail in my next life

they literally live with their houses ON them

imagine all the naps you could take

**grease**

hyuck, as much as i agree with you, you would also have to carry that house around with you

that would be a lot more work than i think you realize

**moony**

not to mention someone could come and step on you at any time

**peachy**

what

i left for a minute

**grease**

welcome back jae

**peachy**

thanks

**h(yuck)**

JAEHYUN, A MAN OF INTEGRITY

tell me

do you think being a snail would be cool

**peachy**

i-

**moony**

be careful jaehyun

this decides your future with hyuck

**peachy**

i live life in the fast lane, donghyuck

i could never stand moving that slowly

**h(yuck)**

FUCK YOU’RE RIGHT

**moony**

@h(yuck) strike two

**h(yuck)**

aww c’mon

let this one slide?

please :(

**moony**

there are no exceptions, donghyuck

**grease**

suffer

**h(yuck)**

wow thanks

**grease**

you’re welcome

**peachy**

johnny, dms

**grease**

k

**moony**

why do i feel like i’m being left out 

**h(yuck)**

same

😔

hyung it looks like it’s just us

**moony**

it seems so

do you want to direct message me?

or as the kids say, dm

**h(yuck)**

OMG THAT’S SUCH A BOOMER THING TO SAY

**moony**

save it, i’m only 25

**h(yuck)**

b o o m e r

**moony**

disowned

  
  


private message between @peachy and @grease

**grease**

so i’m guessing this is about mark’s sudden disappearance?

**peachy**

you know me, john bro

**grease**

it’s the foreign swagger braincell man

**peachy**

seriously though

mark’s worrying me a lot

**grease**

same

did you see him yesterday at dinner?

he didn’t eat anything

**peachy**

taeil hyung told me he snuck leftovers later

but still

**grease**

do you think it’s…

**peachy**

i know it is

when i confronted him he wouldn’t respond

**grease**

oh shit

jae what do we do

**peachy**

i have nothing for you

that’s why i asked you

you’re hyuck’s roommate

you certainly know things right?

**grease**

that i do

but i have sworn a vow not to tell

**peachy**

we can avoid disaster, true or false

**grease**

true

**peachy**

hyuck’s probably snuffling in his room but he’s still acting like a sunshine on text, true or false

**grease**

true

**peachy**

okay okay 

this is okay for now

**grease**

jaehyun, are you pulling your hairs out? 

i can sense the stress exuding from you

**peachy**

i’m not

hair and makeup would kill me

but i certainly want to

they just make me

hhhhhhhh

**grease**

there there

**peachy**

it’s not like my sexuality’s any better

hahah.

but like oh my god

they need to get a grip

both of them

**grease**

jae, we already talked about this before. 

take care of yourself too, right?

**peachy**

aware

yet my fucking crush

does none of that either

how are we all so hypocritical

**grease**

i dunno man

**peachy**

i truly hope that one of at least doesn’t have some sort of big crisis in their life 

**grease**

mmm

i’m pretty sure taeil doesn’t?

**peachy**

hmmm 

i don’t actually talk to him much

i wouldn’t know

oof that makes me feel kinda bad

**grease**

it’s okay, jae

you don’t have to talk to everyone in our group regularly

it’s a lot of socializing, stick with what you’re comfortable with

**peachy**

i know, but still

**grease**

hey, you know what? 

let’s go talk to taeil tomorrow

together

you know he and … you-know-who are close

**peachy**

right

how did i not think of this sooner

i’m so dumb

what would i be without you, johnny

**grease**

oh trust me, i know 

**peachy**

JOHNNY!

**grease**

haha just kiddin’

love you too (platonically dw)

**peachy**

right right mhmm

i’m signing off, jungwoo just grumbled about light

**grease**

gn, sleep well, don’t fucking stress, you’re ok

**peachy**

that just makes it even worse but thanks ig

**grease**

oh rip sorry bye 

**peachy**

mhm

**_[peachy is now offline]_ **

**grease**

god, what am i going to do with you…

  
  
  


private message between @h(yuck) and @moonie

**h(yuck)**

OMG DID IT TAKE YOU THAT LONG TO FIND THE DM BUTTON

AHAHAHHAHAHA

**moony**

shush

let me be confused in peace

**h(yuck)**

this is just more evidence to add to my list

**moony**

list?

**h(yuck)**

reasons why moon taeil is a boomer

it’s currently at a solid 20

**moony**

slkdjflskdjflksjdf

why do you do this

**h(yuck)**

because i’m the annoying maknae who no one cares about anyways so i do it just go get attention from you because i know you wouldn’t give it to me if i was actually nice

i mean what?

**moony**

.

donghyuck.

**h(yuck)**

hahah you see that? 

nope me neither

nothing happened, it’s gone

**_[h(yuck) has deleted a message]_ **

**moony**

too late, i already screenshotted it

**h(yuck)**

wAIT YOYU KNOW HOW TO DO THAT

**moony**

i’m not that dumb, hyuck-ah

**h(yuck)**

fuck

**moony**

...you know what, i’ll let this one slide

**h(yuck)**

YAY

**moony**

but only if you tell me what you meant by that

**h(yuck)**

NAY

**moony**

i’m serious, hyuck.

enlighten me.

**h(yuck)**

there’s nothing to be said

it’s true 

**moony**

in what ways?

when have i ever told you that i wouldn’t give you attention?

**h(yuck)**

there was that time when i caught you on the phone backstage before the cherry bomb performance

**moony**

i told you to go find someone else to talk to because i was on a chat with scheduling noona, hyuck.

i wanted to talk to you, but she was listening and it was really important.

i regret snapping at you, it was just really stressful.

**h(yuck)**

ok ok fine i get it

now i just sound selfish

the conceited youngest member who only cares about himself

**moony**

i never?? said that??

hyuck, please stop jumping to conclusions

**h(yuck)**

i can’t help it, okay?!

i had my trust betrayed once, it won’t happen again

sarcasm is my strong suit, and i’m using it to my advantage

**moony**

yes,,, i’m sure we all are very aware of your sharp tongue

but that doesn’t mean we don’t love you for it either

**h(yuck)**

stop making it so hard to fight back

**moony**

is it working?

**h(yuck)**

yes

stop it

now

**moony**

what if i told you no?

**h(yuck)**

then you’d be a meanie

**moony**

a meanie but still older than you and still right

**h(yuck)**

i hate you

**moony**

i hate me too don’t worry

**h(yuck)**

shit hyung sorry

**moony**

that’s all right, my sense of humor is just dark 

**h(yuck)**

someone could take you seriously, hyung

**moony**

i don’t give a care, that’s not a problem

however, this certainly is

this thing you have going on

**h(yuck)**

can we not talk about that?

**moony**

avoiding problems isn’t the way to resolve them

**h(yuck)**

i don’t need to resolve anything hyung

**moony**

you most certainly do

don’t think i haven’t saved that message from before

i want to hear it, hyuck. let it out.

**h(yuck)**

but why

**moony**

does this really need a reason?

i care, all right?

everyone in this godforsaken group has some sort of problem, everyone, it seems, except for me.

i want to help you all, is that really that hard to believe? 

i feel like a useless eldest member if i can’t even help everyone out, and since you all are stubborn as hell, it’s been too hard to confront you about your problems.

so it would actually help a lot if you let me know how i could help.

**h(yuck)**

i see

uh

**moony**

mhm

**h(yuck)**

i didn’t 

know that

**moony**

i’m aware

you don’t talk to me very much

**h(yuck)**

sorry hyung

**moony**

no need to apologize

just let me hear what you have to say, all right?

**h(yuck)**

right ok

well i just reasoned, since everyone usually pushes me off when i try to give them hugs, or nag that i’m annoying, they would mean what they say, right?

and especially when there are days that i actually need it, no one can tell 

and the person i want it from the most doesn’t ever give it back

so at some point it’s logical to believe that i would just be a bother, right

and i dunno 

being a closet bisexual in a boys-only group isn’t that cool

**moony**

oh, hyuckie…

**h(yuck)**

yuck, i know right?

:D

**moony**

i can’t tell if you’re being serious, but that’s not gross at all

our group is pretty much 100% gay or at least attracted to men

there’s nothing to be ashamed of

**h(yuck)**

what about you, hyung?

**moony**

what about me?

**h(yuck)**

you know what nvm

that’s too personal

**moony**

nvm?

**h(yuck)**

never mind

**moony**

OH

let me write that down

but anyway

say what you wanted to say

it’s okay

**h(yuck)**

but

are you sure?

**moony**

positive

**h(yuck)**

all right….

hyung are you gay?

**moony**

unsure

i’ve never felt romantic attractions towards anyone so i wouldn’t be the one to ask for love advice, and quite honestly i see no interest in it

so i’m most likely ace and aro but i’m still waiting for that special someone to sweep me off my feet (+ if they decide to show up anytime soon that would be great)

**h(yuck)**

oh

cool ^^

**moony**

mhm

😀

i found the emoji keyboard

**h(yuck)**

YOU SENT AN EMOJI

THIS IS A MILESTONE IN HISTORY

holdup lemme just screenshot this

YES

**moony**

is this really such a big deal?

**h(yuck)**   
YES IT IS

THIS IS MONUMENTAL 

I HAVE TO CROSS OFF TWO THINGS FROM THE TAEIL BOOMER LIST TODAY

**moony**

well i’m glad to see we’re making progress

**h(yuck)**

yep lol

**moony**

for the record, hyuck, if you need anything at all from me, please, let me know

i can’t promise that i’ll be the best at giving the advice, but i at least want to be more of a part of your guys’ lives than i am right now

the first step to accepting yourself is to let yourself feel like it’s okay, and i want to be there for you every step of the way, especially the very beginning

i’m going to jump-hug you tomorrow morning and there’s no stopping me

**h(yuck)**

hyung… you don’t have to

**moony**

who said i wouldn’t?

**h(yuck)**

DONT MAKE ME CFY JONNY SLOOKING AT ME FUNNY

**moony**

good or bad?

**h(yuck)**

unsure

but it feels nice

to say it out loud

kind of out loud since we’re texting but yaknow

**moony**

right

that’s good to hear 

i’m glad that i can be of help 😁

**h(yuck)**

thank you so much hyung

it means a lot, really

**moony**

and i’m glad that you’ve trusted me with this

now you should really sleep donghyuck

get the rest that you need, all right?

**h(yuck)**

right right okayyy

good night taeil-hyung

see you tomorrow~~

**moony**

good night

**_[h(yuck) is now offline]_ **

  
  


private message between @moony and @grease

**grease**

hey taeil? i don’t know what kind of black magic you worked on my roommate but he was giggling and happy 

he hasn’t looked like that in a while, and i just wanted to say thanks for that

**moony**

i’m not sure i should be taking credit, but you’re welcome

how have things been holding up?

**grease**

as well as they can be, i guess

hyuck’s been a bit down, but i hope that can change soon

i’ve also been just stressed by the low EQs of all our band members

**moony**

relatable

**grease**

i hope things have been all right with you?

we can revive that hyung line chat if you need

**moony**

it’s all good

thank you for the offer though

too many memories haha

**grease**

oh right :)

dw about it then

but let me know if you need any help with hyuck

i’m working on mark with jaehyun and such

**moony**

understandable

your bond with him never ceases to amaze me

**grease**

oh don’t worry same

but anywho taeil you’re probably tired it’s almost 4

let’s both put the devices away and get some shut-eye

jae already headed off, we’re the only two left

**moony**

all right, i’ll heed your word

sleep well, johnny

**grease**

love u taeil

_**[grease is now offline]** _

**moony**

love you|

love y|

lo|

bye

  
  


**_[moony is now offline]_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so some things have been said... opinions?  
> (tell me if you like this pov thing or not sljdkfjsd)


	3. taeyong time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> USERNAMES
> 
> moony: Taeil  
> tyty: Taeyong  
> peachy: Jaehyun  
> het: Mark  
> grease: Johnny  
> bunbun: Doyoung  
> snork: Renjun  
> h(yuck): Donghyuck  
> jenowo: Jeno  
> marshmallow: Jaemin  
> scREE: Chenle  
> gremlin: Jisung

sh-sh-sh-sh-shut up 

**_[scREE and 3 others are now online]_ **

**scREE**

so

**snork**

what

why

**scREE**

because i can

**snork**

what is this chat name

**scREE**

jisungie came up with it

**gremlin**

are you proud 

**snork**

absolutely not

this is a monstrosity

**_[jenowo is now online]_ **

**jenowo**

i think it’s cute!!

**scREE**

thank you jeno 

a man of taste

**jenowo**

oh, you’re welcome? 

:D

**marshmallow**

i just busted an uwu

**gremlin**

ew gross

**marshmallow**

wait for it

**snork**

i am scared

**marshmallow**

( ͡°з ͡°)

**scREE**

WHAT THE HELL

**gremlin**

chenle just screamed in my ear

are you happy @marshmallow

**snork**

no need to inform us we already heard from three rooms down

**jenowo**

...less cute but still cute

**marshmallow**

oh rlly?

**jenowo**

because jaemin sends it!!

cute!

was that english right?

**marshmallow**

you’re doing great sweetie

**jenowo**

yay ^-^

**gremlin**

affection? 

in this chat?

**snork**

illegal

suspend them @het

**gremlin**

MARK HYUNG

@het

**scREE**

@het @het @het @het @het @het

**gremlin**

where the fuck is hyung

**scREE**

probably still asleep

**jenowo**

mark should sleep!

get his rest! 

he look very tired yesterday

**snork**

looked*

**jenowo**

thank you renjunnie!

**snork**

np

**marshmallow**

uwu

my two babies interacting

i love it

**snork**

literally zip it jaemin

**marshmallow**

and all that i’ve ever done for you

*sniff*

i guess this is it

**gremlin**

“this is why they say there’s no point in raising children”

**marshmallow**

w

**gremlin**

trust me i know

you said the same thing about me

word for word

**snork**

i mean he didn’t lie

**marshmallow**

that he did not

**_[het is now online]_ **

**het**

why tf are there 8 pings from this cursed place

i thought i was supposed to have graduated already

**jenowo**

mark hyung!! hi

**het**

ello jeno 

wyd

**jenowo**

wake up time!

jaeminnie came over to help

:D

  
  


private message between @het and @marshmallow 

**het**

whipped

**marshmallow**

shut up mark

**het**

opinionated but always spitting straight facts

😎

  
  


sh-sh-sh-sh-shut up 

**marshmallow**

mhmm 

:3

**snork**

gross

@het

now that you’re here stop this

**scREE**

你只是个寂寞的盐罐

(trans: you’re just a lonely saltshaker)

**snork**

在洞里死吧

(trans: go die in a hole)

**scREE**

不你

(trans: no you)

**het**

speak in english por favor

**marshmallow**

while you say something in spanish

**het**

what can i say, i’m a multilingual king

**gremlin**

more like mess

**het**

naw that title’s reserved for lucas

**gremlin**

fair

**scREE**

where’s hyuck

**_[h(yuck) is now online]_ **

**h(yuck)**

i heard my name fuckers

bow down 🙏😚💁

**gremlin**

never

**h(yuck)**

you’ll regret this jisung

**gremlin**

you’ll never catch me

you’re too short

**scREE**

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

hyung i think you need some ice

for that high degree BURN

**marshmallow**

hahaaha

**jenowo**

jaemin said it’s bully hyuck time!

**h(yuck)**

i just woke up jeezus fuck

**het**

do not use the lord’s name in vain

**h(yuck)**

shut up mark it’s not like you don’t either

**het**

ok you know what

my religion is important to me

so stop it

**h(yuck)**

no

why should i

minhyung lee

what has christianity ever done for me

**snork**

wait wait

**het**

there’s no reason i need to wait

**h(yuck)**

then don’t

**scREE**

hyung wait

**het**

fine.

**_[het is now offline]_ **

**h(yuck)**

well

party pooper

👉💩💤

**snork**

seriously hyuck?

**h(yuck)**

wdym 

i just took out the trash

**gremlin**

i just saw mark run out of the dorms

he looks rlly pissed

donghyuck i think you said smth really bad

**h(yuck)**

not my problem

mark should learn to have some tolerance jeez

**marshmallow**

hyuck this seems serious

you know how he gets

**h(yuck)**

you hear that?

that’s the sound of me not giving a fuck

**snork**

i hate getting worked up but that was a dick move

**jenowo**

will mark-hyung be okay?

**marshmallow**

hopefully

**snork**

comebacks always make him unnecessarily snappy

dammit hyuck couldn’t you lay off on the teasing

**h(yuck)**

oh, so now this is my fault?

**snork**

it most definitely is

**scREE**

sorry hyung but that was kind of mean

**gremlin**

not to team up or anything, but you both were glaring at each other at practice yesterday

i don’t know what kind of spat you guys had, but fix it please

it makes lele all sad and gloomy and that’s depressing

**jenowo**

lele!!!

**snork**

ohmygod

didijusthearthatcorrectly

**marshmallow**

L E L E

that’s so CUTE

**gremlin**

stopppppp

protect me pls lele

**scREE**

why 

it’s cute seeing you panic

:)

**gremlin**

jsdlkfjsldkf meanie

**h(yuck)**

stop being gross

i’m leaving

**_[h(yuck) is now offline]_ **

**marshmallow**

who woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning…

**jenowo**

both of them very dumb

communication!!

**snork**

i second that

**scREE**

thirded

**marshmallow**

fourthed

**gremlin**

fifthed

**snork**

glad we’re all on the same page

**marshmallow**

i read that as my page

help me

**gremlin**

jaemin are u going in sane

**marshmallow**

*hyung

**gremlin**

you deserve no honorifics for embarrassing me 

**snork**

oof harsh

**jenowo**

no being mean!!

mark and hyuck are enough mean for today

be nice everyone?

**scREE**

amen

**gremlin**

jeno the only kind one in this godforsaken household

**snork**

i mean you aren’t lying

**marshmallow**

big phat uwu

**snork**

absolutely not

  
  


help hyung 

**_[het has added tyty to a chat]_ **

**het**

hello 

**tyty**

Mark?

What happened?

Are you okay?

**het**

can you open the door

**tyty**

I can

But why?

**het**

just let me in pls

**tyty**

Coming rn

  
  
  


Mark didn’t have to knock another time before the door swung open and Taeyong’s thin-lipped smile greeted him. The look quickly melded into one of motherly concern, and the taller grey-haired man ushered Mark inside, closing the door behind him quietly. Whispering in his most soothing voice, Taeyong set his dongsaeng down on the couch and asked, “Mark, you look like shit. What happened?” 

The empty stare Taeyong got back was a clear indication of his answer.

“Nothing happened.”

“You’ll have to be more specific if you want me to understand, Mark.” Letting out a sigh, Taeyong slid into the cushioned spot next to him, resting a reassuring hand on the younger’s thigh. Giving him a small smile, the 127 leader repeated himself. “I want to help, but if I have no idea what I’m helping with, it’s not going to be easy.” 

Mark let out a mixture between a groan and sob, reclining in the sofa before his head was facing the ceiling. Crinkling his eyebrows in pain, Mark muttered under his breath, “Hyuck made a joke and then I escalated it.”

Taeyong sighed again, _what was it with these kids and not knowing how to stay humble._ “Are you just playing it down? Hyuckie isn’t known for being all that apologetic about his words, and I know how they can affect you.” 

The Canadian nodded, burying his face into his hands. “I dunno, I just always feel bad for making things bigger than they need to be, and all the stress from practice is just getting to my head.” 

Taeyong bobbed his head in understanding, just letting the weight of the situation sit for a while. Despite the fact that he adored the younger members, they had to realize that things didn’t always turn out the right way, and that they needed to mind their words. 

_Ironic, since you didn’t follow these instructions, now did you, Taeyong?_

Said man scowled at the voice in his head, one that was always present but usually didn’t speak up until late at night. Some people said that talking to yourself was a sign of insanity, and maybe they were right. At this point, Taeyong wouldn’t put it past himself to one day wake up and realize that he was a serial killer disguised as an idol, using hair dye to drug his victims and bury their bodies in the SM dungeon. Yes, he might have been watching one too many murder mystery shows these past few weeks, but that wasn’t out of the ordinary, right? He didn’t let anyone else in his group know about this voice. It was his personal thing after all, since it has appeared after that shitty decision he made as a trainee, and it was his problem to fix, not anyone else’s. Sometimes he really wanted to crack and let it all out, but he always had to reprimand himself. _You can’t lean on others, they’ll always find a way to make it worse. You are in charge of your own future, and if you can’t figure out a way to own up to it, then there’s no way you can be worthy of leading NCT._

“Mark.”

The brown-eyed boy looked up almost immediately, a bit of fear flashing in his eyes before he averted his gaze. “Yeah?”

Taeyong took a deep breath, preparing himself for the outburst that would inevitably come once he finished saying his piece. “Believe it or not, Doyoung and I were very similar to how you and Mark are. I have a lot of experience having to deal with these kinds of situations, and my one piece of advice for you is to suck it up and confront him about it.”

A yelp of protest followed, but it was nothing that Taeyong couldn’t handle. Being a stressed father of twenty kids and counting had its perks. After a lot of food and intense staring, Mark finally caved and faceplanted into the cushions, agreeing to his leader’s terms. 

With a successful smile, Taeyong gave the other a pat on the back, softening significantly when he saw the other shaking in his shoes. 

“I get it, it’s terrifying. I won’t give you false hope by promising that the plan won’t backfire, but if you really want to solve your dilemma with Donghyuck, you have to put yourself out there. Promise me that, ok, Mark?” 

Said boy nodded mutely, lips pressed into a firm line. It seemed like Taeyong’s job was done, seeing as the glint and stubborn look in Mark’s eye had returned. Giving the other boy one last hug and handmade pastry, Taeyong waved him out before falling back onto the sofa, pulling out his handheld device and scrolling through his YouTube, finding some random videos to watch.

Time seemed to fly by, and when Taeyong’s special calendar alarm sounded, he almost fell out of his seat in shock. However, once he saw the time, he aggressively opened his text messages and started typing.

  
  


private message between @tyty and @bunbun 

**_[tyty is now online]_ **

**tyty**

Hey Dodo!

Sjlkdfsjdf sorry I wasn’t on

I got… distracted

**bunbun**

probably with cat videos right

**tyty**

Shh, don’t expose me

**bunbun**

lmao i win this time

but what did u wanna say

**tyty**

Oh

I just told Mark about our trainee days...

Is that okay?

**bunbun**

look tae i don’t care

what’s past is past

we both were stubborn

and like i live up to that 

as long as ur not too triggered thinking abt it that’s what matters

**tyty**

Right, thanks!

I just wanted to make sure.

Because I can always tell Mark not to tell Donghyuck!!

**bunbun**

yeah it isn’t a big deal

thanks for asking though, i don’t know how i could have hated you back then

you’re such a sweetheart

**tyty**

Thank you!

**bunbun**

don’t let it get to your head, tyongie

**tyty**

It’s too late, I’ve already screenshotted this!

**bunbun**

sigh

as much as i would love to say you’re wholesome

i know for a fact that isn’t true

especially since it’s almost nine and i can sense you already getting antsy

**tyty**

Don’t shame me, you agreed to it too.

**bunbun**

fine fine

shush

i’ll be over in 10?

**tyty**

I need you now.

**bunbun**

on it

**_[tyty and 1 other are now offline]_ **

  
  


private message between @moony and @grease 

**grease**

good evening taeil!

**moony**

*hyung

**grease**

aw come on

we’re not that far apart in age :(((

**moony**

i’m just teasing, johnny

you’re very welcome to drop the honorifics

but only in direct messages, got it?

**grease**

yeah shmeah

**moony**

shmeah?

**grease**

it’s some chicago thing dw about it

**moony**

all right

how has your day been?

**grease**

surprisingly uneventful

i feel like i’m gonna jinx it but yeah

**moony**

did you have a hard time waking up? 

i know you stayed up too late

**grease**

it’s not hard, i usually go to bed late so today’s no different

wbu?

**moony**

i feel as if a truck ran me over

how do you do this on a daily basis

**grease**

oof i can’t really tell you

it’s probably not a good skill to have

**moony**

i’m not sure it counts as a skill but i’ll take your word for it

  
  


private message between @peachy and @grease 

**peachy**

johnny i see ur online

**grease**

that i am

**peachy**

can we uh

chat

**grease**

? yeah ofc

when have i ever said no

**peachy**

no no that’s not what i mean

i just

you-know-who

he’s

**grease**

?

**peachy**

he’s existing

and i just

want to hold him

and tell him how precious and amazing he is

**grease**

hm

this is the final straw

give me a moment jae

**peachy**

what

what are you plotting

  
  


plan jaeyong 

**_[grease has added peachy and moony to a chat]_ **

**grease**

hello taeil

**peachy**

JOHNNY NO

KSdkfjsldkfjsndfv

**moony**

erm…

am i allowed to ask what this is?

**grease**

jaeyong

jaehyun and taeyong

**peachy**

sTOP

**grease**

members of our group

one of which you know very well

right?

**moony**

taeyong? 

yes, i am one of his closest friends

or as jisung says, chingus

**grease**

don’t ever say that again

**moony**

noted

**peachy**

JOHnnY lET It GO

just

pretend this

didn't happen

**grease**

jae, seriously

you need to get it together

**moony**

i am utterly confused and lost

please catch me up jaehyun

since you’re the one who’s clearly involved

**peachy**

theres nothing to dsay

can we not right now

**grease**

basically, jaehyun wants to kiss taeyong

**peachy**

nO

**grease**

and be his boyfriend and do romance stuff with him

**peachy**

sto p

**grease**

and t

**peachy**

johnny stop it please

**moony**

ah

**grease**

yeah, that’s why i made this chat

**moony**

what am i here for exactly?

**grease**

well

since jaehyun won’t do anything because he’s a wimp

*cough cough*

**moony**

we get the shade 

**grease**

yeah

well

you’re close friends with him! 

you could perhaps tell jaehyun that there’s nothing to worry about and that he should work up the courage to tell his hyung how he feels!

**peachy**

actually you don’t need to do that it’s okay taeil let’s not bother you have a nice day

  
  
  


private message between @peachy and @grease 

**peachy**

johnny wtf

  
  
  


plan jaeyong 

**moony**

so you’re saying that you want me to set jaehyun up with taeyong?

**grease**

basically

**moony**

…

i don’t know if i can help.

**grease**

oh?

  
  


private message between @peachy and @grease 

**peachy**

see i told you

**grease**

let me talk to taeil in dms

i’m sure there’s an explanation

that goofy smile he gets when he sees you can’t be fake

**peachy**

don’t get my hope up johnny

  
  


private message between @peachy and @grease 

**grease**

can i ask why?

**moony**

i don’t think it’s my place to tell

but i don’t want to meddle in something that i don’t know the full story around

**grease**

that’s so cryptic but all right

i don’t want to push your boundaries

can i at least ask you one thing?

**moony**

sure

**grease**

does jae have a chance?

**moony**

i’m hesitant, but i’ll say yes

don’t take it to heart

but taeyong doesn’t DISLIKE him

if you understand what i mean

**grease**

i don’t but that’s okay

thanks hyung

**moony**

sorry i can’t tell you|

sorry i|

sorry

  
  


private message between @tyty and @moony 

**moony**

taeyong

hey

oh wait 

it’s doyoung time right now

…..

never mind

but when you’re done

let me know 

because i have some questions for you

thanks, enjoy yourself.

**tyty**

Wait what?

Doyoung time just ended, what do you need to chat about?

**moony**

it’s about jaehyun.

**tyty**

Oh

Who are you telling it to?

**moony**

johnny

**tyty**

Crap.

What about him?

**moony**

i think you already know the answer to that one, tae

**tyty**

I do, but I

I just need some more time.

**moony**

all you ever seem to do nowadays is find time, tae.

look, i get it, doyoung’s a good distraction from your problems 

even though i don’t necessarily approve of the… ways you occupy yourselves

but don’t you think that you need to figure out exactly what it is about him that scares you away?

**tyty**

I’m aware, I’m working on it, don’t worry.

But why are you asking now all of a sudden?

I thought we stopped talking about that last month.

**moony**

these kinds of things you can’t escape from, tae

you should know that best out of all of us

**tyty**

I’m working it out!

I just can’t lose what I have with Doyoung right now.

Can you at least just understand that?

**moony**

i can, and i do

it’s just that i can only keep johnny at bay for so long

and you know how he is when he sets his mind on something

**tyty**

I’m well aware.

Thank you, Taeil.

I know this whole friends-with-benefits thing is confusing for you.

But it means a lot more to me than the…

**moony**

extremely scarring noises you make late at night?

**tyty**

Stop!!!! 

That was ONE time, and we were told no one would be home!!

And we always start around 9pm, that’s not late at all!!

**moony**

i sure hope that it was only one time

otherwise i would disown you

**tyty**

I-

But-

You can’t do that!

**moony**

you’re right i can’t but i can threaten to

**tyty**

Okay okay, you win this time.

**moony**

damn right i do

get some sleep, okay?

things are changing fast

and you need to be prepared

**tyty**

Oh god, now I’m scared.

Taeil what do you mean?

**moony**

just

you’ll be okay, i know it

i need to talk to doyoung

but i know he becomes a blob after your sessions

so it’ll wait until tomorrow

**tyty**

I… Okay.

You need to sleep too, don’t think I didn’t notice your eyebags.

**moony**

i’m allowed to be a hypocrite if you are

**tyty**

Point proven.

You sure you’re okay though?

You know I’m here for you, Taeil.

**moony**

yeah, thanks

i’m good for now though

the other members need you more than i do

**tyty**

We really need a hyung line group chat.

**moony**

this really JUST occurred to you????

whatever, but make it tomorrow, taeyong. 

you're getting rest tonight or else

**tyty**

Okay okay, good night!

Sleep well!

**moony**

and dream of doyoung

**tyty**

Shut up.

**moony**

:)

**_[tyty is now offline]_ **

**moony**

you didn’t deny it haha i win

okay well anyways 

johnny has been really good to m|

johnny has been real|

johnny ha|

john|

bye

**_[moony is now offline]_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more drama? yes. (i'm sorry but not sorry.) soooooo,,, i set up doyoung and tae's interesting relationship? oops, i did a bad thing! and taeil is being a bit strange? can you guys guess why?? :) poor jaehyun and johnny are going to struggle... but dreamies? markhyuck? that's going to be a hot mess too. at least jeno is still a small ball of sunshine and always will be. unless? :D
> 
> unrelated but i'm thriving in chinese- the next chapter is wayv focused, so be ready for more 中文 and translation :))
> 
> leave any theories in the comments, kudos are appreciated and ily all! <3


	4. the biggest bleeps in china

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter WILL have chinese in it! however, i did include rough translations (i'm sorry my bilingual self got lazy so i didn't stick with it the whole way) so hopefully you guys can follow along! 謝謝大家，希望你會喜歡這個章節！
> 
> USERNAMES  
> gege: kun  
> tnt: ten  
> uwu: sicheng  
> a mess: xuxi  
> sheep: xiaojun  
> donk-e: hendery  
> vroom vroom: yangyang  
> grease: johnny  
> potato: jungwoo

rainbow (gay)v 

**_[tnt, vroom vroom, and 4 others are now online]_ **

**vroom vroom**

HELLO HEATHENS

**tnt**

how do u have capacity to think in english so early 

**a mess**

ayO 你好 mY chINGUS

**sheep**

哎呀- 设么？

(trans: excuse me what)

**donk-e**

设么人都不可以听懂Lucas的话

(trans: no one can understand lucas)

**gege**

对呀

(trans: damn right)

**vroom vroom**

hAH ten says he can’t think in english but he does

you’ve been no scoped

yeeeeeeee

**tnt**

no

**sheep**

这是为设么我们需要学英文

(trans: this is why we have to learn english)

**tnt**

你不想要听懂yangyang说的，相信我

(trans: you don’t want to know what yangyang says, trust me)

**a mess**

o HAHhsHAHA I 明白 NOW

(trans: i understand now)

**gege**

旭熙 ，你能用真的中文讲话吗

(xuxi can you speak in real chinese)

**a mess**

可以呀！！！

(trans: yeah I can!)

**donk-e**

他在说谎

(trans: he’s lying)

**vroom vroom**

WOOOOOOAH

BURNNN

**sheep**

哎呦我们最小的有太多精神

(trans: omg our youngest has so much energy)

**gege**

对呀

(trans: right)

**donk-e**

锟哥你总是说“对呀” - 能不能说些比较好玩的东西吗？

(trans: kun-ge you always say “right” - can’t you say something more interesting?)

**sheep**

小心，他可以禁止你啊

(trans: be careful he could ban you)

**gege**

我有行政特权，不要告我

(trans: i have administrative privilege don’t try me)

**vroom vroom**

who let kun ge make this again

**tnt**

someone w/o brain cells

**vroom vroom**

can we just stick to one language pls

**tnt**

^

**uwu**

我以为我已经离开了  _ *sigh* _

(trans: i thought i had left this place already)

**donk-e**

wow is this

yangyang and ten

agreeing with each other?

also 你好 winwin ge!

**uwu**

hi!

现在让我离开

(trans: now let me leave)

**gege**

你是其中的一部分，有无法逃呀

(trans: you’re a part of us, there’s no escape)

**vroom vroom**

CAN WE USE ENGLISH

OR JUST NO ZHONG WEN

PLES

**gege**

but we are weishen v

**a mess**

EYYy iS OKAY

I SPEAK ENGILSH

**tnt**

the fact that u spelled english wrong sends

**vroom vroom**

LMAOOOO

but seriously

can we use another language, preferably english? 

**sheep**

I can try?

practice

**donk-e**

i’m already fluent B)

**vroom vroom**

the perks of teaching ten hyung chinese 

and then learning english too

wow i’m smart

**uwu**

可是我的英文很差的 ㅠ_ㅠ

(trans: but my english is bad)

**gege**

我的也是，可是孩子们要练习

(trans: same, but the kids want to practice their english i guess)

i’ll try my best

**vroom vroom**

YAY

**tnt**

finally a break from chinese hahaha

**donk-e**

wow 

after all i did

teaching you day by day

and this is how you thank me

😱😢🤐😔

**tnt**

what

**vroom vroom**

he’s become a vsco girl

**donk-e**

I LITERALLY BREATHED

**vroom vroom**

shush go away don’t taint us with ur sksksks or whatever

**uwu**

设么？

(trans: what?)

**sheep**

yangyang explain

**vroom vroom**

oh hell naw i am not dealing w this

ten hyung

go

**tnt**

i’m-

**a mess**

yEAAAA

**vroom vroom**

literally no one asked but thanks xuxi

**uwu**

oof

**donk-e**

gasp he knows pop culture

**uwu**

是Mark和Johnny哥教我的

(trans: you can thank mark and johnny-hyung)

我常常后悔学英文

(trans: i often regret learning this language)

**gege**

am i just going to be left in the dust forever

**vroom vroom**

this is why you learn english

b o o m e r

**tnt**

the fact that kun is only one year older than me sends

**donk-e**

right

**vroom vroom**

shut up vsco-dery

we don’t welcome your kin here

hiss

**donk-e**

wha

**sheep**

i am very confused

emoji’s aren’t vsco?

**donk-e**

^

exactly

you had no right

**tnt**

who cares

you lost all your rights when you entered sm entertainment

**vroom vroom**

oh oof

**donk-e**

you aren’t wrong though

**sheep**

oh no

**uwu**

look i didn’t have a choice

they hunted me down 

what was i supposed to do, call the cops on them?

**vroom vroom**

i mean that’s kinda what u did lol

**uwu**

i did not

**tnt**

the sentiment was there

**donk-e**

i think sentiment is the wrong word

**gege**

vibe?

**tnt**

AND HE SPEAKS

**gege**

shut up 

**vroom vroom**

wow i’m surprised kun ge knows slang

**gege**

i can be hip if i want 

**sheep**

the fact that we all say our english sucks but we’re still able to insult each other is hilarious

**tnt**

insults transcend all language

the first thing i asked to learn in chinese was “fuck your mom”

**gege**

i’m 

**vroom vroom**

old wbk

**gege**

no let me finish

**vroom vroom**

never

**sheep**

yangyang :(

**vroom vroom**

i am uncontrollable

i am like the wind

woosh woosh fuckers

**donk-e**

i have so many questions

**uwu**

we all do when it comes to this boy

**vroom vroom**

oHMYGOD WAIT

**tnt**

what is it this time brat

**vroom vroom**

first of all u sound like a grandpa

lmaooooooo

**tnt**

i hope you die a painful death

**vroom vroom**

i’ll see you in hell bitch

but anyways

guess what guys

**sheep**

what?

**vroom vroom**

𝒾 𝒻𝑜𝓊𝓃𝒹 𝓂𝓎 𝒻𝒶𝓃𝒸𝓎 𝓀𝑒𝓎𝒷𝑜𝒶𝓇𝒹

**gege**

what

**donk-e**

did i read that right

**uwu**

my eyes burn

**gege**

i see boxes

someone translate

what did he say

**vroom vroom**

𝚒𝚖𝚊𝚐𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚍𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚍

ƙυɳ ɠҽ ƈαɳ ɾҽʅαƚҽ

ᵗᵉᵉʰᵉᵉ

**donk-e**

the way i cackled

**gege**

what’s he saying!!!!

**uwu**

probably insulting you

**tnt**

lmao 

**vroom vroom**

ᴡᴀɪᴛ ɪ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ʀᴇᴀʟɪᴢᴇᴅ

𝓀𝓊𝓃 𝒸𝒶𝓃'𝓉 𝓈𝑒𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓈𝑜 𝒾 𝒹𝑜𝓃'𝓉 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝓉𝑜 𝓊𝓈𝑒 𝒽𝑜𝓃𝑜𝓇𝒾𝒻𝒾𝒸𝓈

**donk-e**

OMG

**sheep**

wow

**vroom vroom**

ℍ𝔼𝕃𝕃 𝕐𝔼𝔸ℍ

**gege**

dejun!!!!

my sane child!!!!

what is yangyang saying!!!

**vroom vroom**

IF YӨЦ ƧPӨIᄂ ƬΉΣ ƧЦЯPЯIƧΣ

𝐢 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮

**sheep**

we’re roommates anyways

you can’t murder me in my sleep 

because kun-ge will be watching over me

**gege**

dejun!!!

i’m practically dying!!!

what’s going on!!!

**donk-e**

yangyang didn’t use honorifics

**vroom vroom**

KUNHANG YOU’RE FUCKING DEAD

**gege**

SO ARE YOU, LIU YANGYANG.

**tnt**

*sips tea*

**donk-e**

hey that’s more vsco than me

**vroom vroom**

ur a fucktwat kunhang

**donk-e**

thank you 😘

**tnt**

hey hey no flirting

that’s my roommate right there

i need him in one piece

**vroom vroom**

who said i was flirting

and i’m afraid i can’t let that happen

i need to tear off his fucking toe at least

get the big toe

throw it in my stew

**uwu**

i am disgusted

**sheep**

yangyangie :(

calm down please

**donk-e**

yeah yangie 😍😚

**vroom vroom**

i am fired up

your emojis merely fuel my rage

**sheep**

he is literally vibrating

**tnt**

oh ;)))

**gege**

is no one going to punish yangyang for his dropping of honorifics

**uwu**

no

**vroom vroom**

shut up ten it’s not like that

**tnt**

*hyung

**vroom vroom**

you make me so mad

i’m gonna be so mad

**uwu**

mad city!

**tnt**

wow ingenius

**donk-e**

sicheng hyung how does it feel being left out of nct 127’s newest album

**uwu**

…

we don’t talk about that

**tnt**

oof is someone salty? 

**uwu**

oh, i don’t know, maybe someone just hoped that they would at least get some amount of recognition after being forced to go through living hell as a trainee and then never being rewarded with anything other than a single fucking line in every other song?

**vroom vroom**

damn

**sheep**

hyung? are you okay?

**gege**

sicheng…

**uwu**

hm

**tnt**

ugh i hate apologies

but seriously i’m sorry if that struck a nerve

i didn’t mean to

**a mess**

WIWNWIN HYUNGGGG

**donk-e**

xuxi where tf have u been

**a mess**

i saw a squirrel outside

it was VERY CUTE

but it ran away :(((((((

however, more importanT IS ROOMATEEEEE

hYUNGIE COME HUGG

**vroom vroom**

disgusting

**tnt**

agreed

**uwu**

you don’t see me complaining though, do you?

**_[uwu is now offline]_ **

**a mess**

i make suRE YHYung IS goOD 

see DA JIA LAter yeorobun

**_[a mess is now offline]_ **

**gege**

...well.

**tnt**

that was

something

**vroom vroom**

right

**sheep**

i feel really bad now

do you think we should apologize to sicheng hyung in person?

**donk-e**

yeah i feel really insensitive now

**gege**

wait a sec

i roomed with johnny in osaka a few years back

maybe he’ll be willing to listen to what we have to say

**tnt**

hm? johnny?

**donk-e**

why is it that when johnny’s name is mentioned you instantly reply hm

👁👅👁

**tnt**

that face makes me very uncomfortable

**vroom vroom**

LMAO A MASTERPIECE

oh wait omg

don’t 127 have a gc too?

sicheng hyung should be in it right

why doesn’t he just 

**gege**

i think it’s a lot more complicated than that

**sheep**

trust me, sicheng hyung has the weirdest way of thinking

it’s kind of similar to ten hyung actually

at least when it comes to this kind of thing

**tnt**

what does that even mean

**donk-e**

care to elaborate, xiaoxiao?

**sheep**

  1. don’t call me that 
  2. it’s not my place to say



**vroom vroom**

aww okay 

no fun but that’s ok

**sheep**

hm right

i just respect people’s privacy

unlike some people i know

**vroom vroom**

for some reason i’m feeling attacked

**tnt**

wow i wonder why

**donk-e**

yeah really

**gege**

no one could have ever guessed

**vroom vroom**

omg even kun ge jumped on the hate train

i see how it is 😩

**sheep**

trust no one

  
  


private message between @gege and @grease

**gege**

hi johnny!

whenever you read this

sicheng broke down in the wayv gc

so if there’s anything you can do for him or us, it would be appreciated

**_[grease is now online]_ **

**grease**

wait what??

our winwinnie?

oh no :(

thank you for telling me kun

do you know if he’s okay?

**gege**

he’s with xuxi right now, he should be fine in a bit

but i have a question, what exactly is his relationship to 127?

**grease**

hmmmmm let me think about that one

i’m actually not sure, to be honest

he’s not that active in our main gc, but maybe that’s bc there’s been too much action in there and he hasn’t been able to speak up

**gege**

has he been reaching out or talking to anyone?

**grease**

again, unsure

if i knew, i would tell you, but the truth is, i’m just as lost as you

and i don’t blame him, the way that the managers are throwing him around is just cruel

**gege**

i can attest to that, the treatment of the chinese members is very different from the korean ones

**grease**

honestly, i’m waiting for junmyeon hyung to take over sm

**gege**

from exo?? you know him?

**grease**

yeah! being a trainee and on multiple talk shows with your sunbaenims really has its perks :)

**gege**

wow, imagine having that many connections…

**grease**

i can do some inside prying for you if you’d like

concerning sicheng

**gege**

would you?

**grease**

sure thing

after all, he is OUR group member

**gege**

of course

thanks a lot johnny

it’s so nice not having to deal with it alone

**grease**

of course of course

smtown osaka buddies for life, right?

**gege**

right 

i’m going to go check on the demons now

aka wayv

**grease**

good luck!!

i’ll text you back with answers

**gege**

gotcha

**_[grease is now offline]_ **

  
  


rainboy (gay)v

**a mess**

yAY SICHENGIE HYUNG IS ONLINE AGIna

**uwu**

that i am

**sheep**

are you feeling better now ge? :(

**uwu**

yes

**vroom vroom**

ok i thought i had to say sorry again phew

**tnt**

so much for a wholesome moment

**donk-e**

oof

**uwu**

it wasn’t any of your faults

so just let it be all right

**a mess**

WE LoVE yoU SARanGHEiyO

**tnt**

i’m pretty sure that’s wrong both ways but

xuxi i do have to ask

what the fuck is wrong with your keyboard

**donk-e**

is it on weed or smth

**sheep**

what?

**gege**

no talking about marijuana

for god’s sake the first thing i see when i open this chat is drugs

do you all ever stop

**sheep**

DRUGS?!

**vroom vroom**

lmao why is dejun the only one who’s confused

**tnt**

shows how tainted we all are 

**donk-e**

amen

i mean hissssssss

no holy shit in this hellhole

**vroom vroom**

that’s more like it

**a mess**

mY KEyBOARD DoeS NOT Eat WEEDiES

I doN OT NKNOW WHJAt uYou ARE TAlkING ABOUT

**gege**

sicheng is xuxi okay

**uwu**

no but he never really was

his hands are so large that he keeps hitting capslock on accident

if you are wondering why it’s so strangely typed

**sheep**

wouldn’t he have autocorrect?

**uwu**

for some reason the baboon could turn that off but couldn’t turn on the korean keyboard

**gege**

good lord do i have to hard reset his phone again

**a mess**

nO DOn T OTUCH ALViN

**vroom vroom**

... did he 

**donk-e**

name his phone 

**tnt**

alvin

**donk-e**

gHAGAJAJAKSKFD

**sheep**

wh-

are you okay?

**tnt**

you should know better than to ask that question dejun

no one here is okay

**sheep**

i mean, uh, i think i’m doing fine

but dang that’s kind of dark

i volunteer myself as therapist

**gege**

oh same ig

**sheep**

no hyung it’s okay you’re plenty stressed already

**tnt**

what about me

**sheep**

ik you’re stressed too chittaphon hyung

**vroom vroom**

oh my god don’t spell it out jaslkfjsdfajskdf

it looks too formal and like ewwwwww

**donk-e**

begone

THOT

**vroom vroom**

oHMYGOD SOULMATE ENERGY

**donk-e**

DAMN RIGHT

**tnt**

and this is why i throw stuff at him on insta live

**gege**

noted

**uwu**

i strongly agree with this idea

**a mess**

AIGOOOOOO

WHo WANT s TO waTCH MOViE

**gege**

let me check our schedule

how late do you plan to stay up xuxi

**a mess**

TITANIC

**gege**

that’s not an answer but okay

**tnt**

*flashbacks to jungwoo and jaehyun*

**a mess**

MY JUNGWOOO

**uwu**

what now

**tnt**

oh? ;)))))

**sheep**

imagine being that confident in a relationship

**vroom vroom**

imagine having a relationship

**donk-e**

bros before hoes

**vroom vroom**

you’re the only one 😩😭✊

**gege**

i am slightly uncomfortable but that is all right

**uwu**

what xuxi meant to say is that he estimates around three hours of time

**donk-e**

sicheng is lucas translator: confirmed

**uwu**

being his roomate comes with certain skills

and burdens

**tnt**

taking one for the group oof

**sheep**

he seems to appreciate it though so that’s good right?

**gege**

it seems like we have enough time for that yeah

as long as we don’t go past 1am, we have a morning photoshoot at 10 tomorrow

**a mess**

mOVIEEE TIMe

caN I InVITE ChinGUES

**uwu**

he means can he call jungwoo and be sappy with him when watching

**gege**

fine by me

**sheep**

^

**donk-e**

^

**vroom vroom**

ew relationships

but yeah whatever idgaf

**tnt**

sure as long as u don’t have phone sex

**gege**

CHITTAPHON.

**tnt**

kun typing in all caps and punctuation is kinda hot ngl

**sheep**

i-

**donk-e**

damn sis snapped

**gege**

call me hot again and maybe you’ll incinerate tonight

**tnt**

ooh papi give me roadburn

**uwu**

no

**vroom vroom**

i am 

disgusted

revolted

**a mess**

IS a YEs?

**uwu**

yes xuxi, go live your functioning relationship

**a mess**

EYYyYYYy

oKEHYUY

**gege**

you’d better watch yourself, chittaphon

**tnt**

only if your eyes are on me ;)

**sheep**

ten-hyung flirting has got to be the most unholy thing ever

someone give me some brain bleach so i don’t have to relive this

**uwu**

the fact that there has been flirting in the first place is just disturbing

**donk-e**

welp can’t say i didn’t enjoy it

**vroom vroom**

so now we wait for xuxi to go start the movie?

**gege**

you need to shower and get changed first

**vroom vroom**

yes mOM

**gege**

for the last time don’t call me mom

**tnt**

okay daddy

**vroom vroom**

for fucks sake

  
  


my little honey bunchkins rose smol snoop dog

**a mess**

hi baby!!!!!

**potato**

oh hi babe!!

you turned on your autocorrect for me? 

i’m touched <33

**a mess**

always for my jing woo

jungwoo*

**potato**

awwwww <3

all the hearts for you xuxi <3

**a mess**

yay!

anyway i love you

but also we’re watching titanic tonight!

**potato**

who’s we?

**a mess**

wavey and me

wayv*

**potato**

ooooh have fun!!

think of me hehe 

**a mess**

i did

that’s why i wanted to ask you to watch it with us

**potato**

omg really?

**a mess**

yes

**potato**

that’s so sweet <3

i’m smiling a lot right now

**_[potato sent an image]_ **

**a mess**

cute boy

**potato**

*your cute boy

and call me in 5? need to tell taeyong hyung <3

**a mess**

of course <3

byebye now, going to set up!

**potato**

all right, see (or should i say hear) you soon!! <333

**a mess**

<33

**_[a mess and potato are now offline]_ **

  
  


rainboy (gay)v

**sheep**

i’m making popcorn, who wants to split one?

**gege**

me please

**sheep**

gotcha!

who else wants some? 

**tnt**

i want a whole bag

**sheep**

not enough left sorry

**tnt**

damn it

**vroom vroom**

i’m sharing w guangheng ofc

**donk-e**

bro TT

**vroom vroom**

bro 

**uwu**

i guess i will share with xuxi

**tnt**

fine, i never wanted popcorn anyways

*hmph*

guess i’ll go eat chocolate

by myself

all alone

**vroom vroom**

stop being such a diva istg

**tnt**

you wish 

**gege**

the movie is starting in around fifteen minutes, xuxi just told me

everyone go shower, we can do skincare while watching

thank you dejun for making snacks :)

**sheep**

anytime kun-ge!

**vroom vroom**

all right fuckers

it’s titanic time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly i don't know what i'm doing with wayv, but as a chinese american it's really fun to mess around with this shit :)) anywho, thank you for sticking with me!! there wasn't much drama revealed in this chapter honestly, but i hope you guys enjoyed it nonetheless. 
> 
> if any of y'all are craving a chinese conversation with anyone, hmu in pms or leave a comment with your socials! i technically know both simplified and traditional, so anyone and everyone is welcome. 
> 
> as always, leave your thoughts and comments belows, maybe drop a kudo or bookmark, and thank you for reading again! next chapter will get back to taeil and the taeyong dilemma, but maybe something about yuta will be revealed???? :))

**Author's Note:**

> hello! thanks for checking this out! :)  
> these chapters will probably be told from either 3rd-person view, or from Taeil's point of view. it might be really confusing as of now, but more information is going to be added soon, promise!
> 
> (updates weekly hopefully)


End file.
